By seducing your husband you will be able to achieve two goals, his complete submission to your will and acceptance of your role as Queen of the household. The idea behind the seductive approach is to:
Few men can appreciate beforehand the joy that you can bring them by exercising erotic power in your marriage. Think of it this way: You are here. You know that you would both be happier there. But tradition and cultural norms have told him that he will not be happy there. You must take him there without his knowledge. Sooner or later he will recognize where you have taken him. The key is that, by the time he realizes where you have taken him, he has already discovered that he is happier there. Along the way, your husband may struggle to reconcile his feelings of happiness with social expectations which tell him he should not be happy with where he is going. You must be a patient and loving guide. You must hold his hand through the transformation of your marriage and continually assure him that whatever others may think, you will only love him all the more.
The road is rockier for some couples than for others and all will depend on your husband's disposition. Usually your husband will become aware of what you are doing after he has already become addicted to your erotic power. At that point there may be a crisis during which your husband is angry not with you but with himself because he will then understand how much he enjoys your erotic power and desires to submit to your will. For some men raised on a macho image of themselves this can be difficult to accept. At this point that you will need to offer reassurance to him of your love and respect for him. Eventually even the most stubborn husband will come to terms with his newfound desire for submission to you because the lure of your erotic power will be overwhelming.
Ideally, by the time he figures out what you're up to he has already embraced his submission to you. Then it is simply a matter of your openly acknowledging this new reality in your marriage.
You may need to rethink your attitudes about the role of sex. For most married couples, sex is something that goes on in the bedroom. At night. With the lights off. Instead, you will need to think about eroticizing your entire relationship. Sex becomes a thread that weaves throughout every interaction between you and your husband, either directly or indirectly. You will deliberately exploit your sexuality every step of the way to an extreme that would make a prostitute blush.
Your objective is to trigger and exploit the submit response in your husband. To accomplish this you need to introduce a conflict to which he will choose a submissive response. Then you need to reinforce that submissive response through respondent and operant conditioning. As his submissive response is developed you can broaden it beyond the original conflict. Eventually, your husband will naturally and automatically choose the submissive response to any and all conflicts with you. At that point he can be said to have fully submitted to your authority.
Typically the first success eases the way for everything else that follows because by breaking his resistance in one area you demonstrate your ability to break his resistance in any area and because once you begin to reinforce that first submissive response in one conflict you encourage it in all other conflicts.
The key to success, then, is to start off with the right conflict. And there is one conflict in particular that ideally lends itself to the submissive response. Household chores are not a good place to begin because they can be too easily avoided by passive resistance and because they are not inherently reinforcing. Instead the place to begin is with sex itself.
In most marriages it is the husband who initiates, controls, and directs sex. But this is far from ideal.
By imposing your will to initiate, control, and direct sex you create the ideal conflict. To the extent that he resists your will in this matter (and provided that you are truly committed to getting your way) he will be starved for sex. This is an enormously powerful negative reinforcement on his position, essentially he will be punishing himself by his resistence. Conversely, by submitting to your choice in this matter he is, by the very nature of the conflict, rewarded with sex. How this conflict resolution unfolds depends on your particular circumstances. But the mere act of giving up control of when sex occurs is very challenging for most husbands habituated to sex on demand from their wife.
Men are almost always in the mood for sex. That is a fact of life. And men don't fail to have orgasms. With a minimal stimulation, and allowing for a delay between sexual encounters appropriate to his age, a man's orgasm is inevitable; men orgasm as a matter of course. By contrast, a woman's orgasm is subject to the circumstances and the nature and duration of stimulation. So it simply makes no sense for the man to decide when and how sex occurs.
The problem is that while your husband may genuinely seek to satisfy you sexually, his natural, innate tendency is to achieve his primal goal, consummation of intercourse, with a minimal expenditure of energy. After all, that's precisely what evolution has bred him to do, that's how the male of the species maximizes its genetic contribution.
Clearly these goals are in conflict and more often than not, in the passion of making love, it is the primal instincts which win out. He doesn't mean to be this way, but he is. Only you can change this.
But much more is implied here than mere timing. Taking control of sex means directing it toward your own fulfillment. It means doing what you want to do. Some husbands, for example, expect to receive but not to give oral. (Many men regard giving oral to a woman as "unmanly" or "dirty".) Turning this around creates a powerful conflict in an area, sex, where you hold all the cards. Few husbands can long resist a wife who is committed to having sex her way or no way. The longer he resists the more he will be tortured by his sex drive.
Once you are controlling and directing sex you can apply very powerful techniques of respondent and operant conditioning toward every other aspect of your marriage.
- allow you to discretely gain confidence in your erotic power,
- allow your husband time to adjust to your new position in the marriage, and
- addict your husband to your erotic power before he is aware of what you are doing.
Few men can appreciate beforehand the joy that you can bring them by exercising erotic power in your marriage. Think of it this way: You are here. You know that you would both be happier there. But tradition and cultural norms have told him that he will not be happy there. You must take him there without his knowledge. Sooner or later he will recognize where you have taken him. The key is that, by the time he realizes where you have taken him, he has already discovered that he is happier there. Along the way, your husband may struggle to reconcile his feelings of happiness with social expectations which tell him he should not be happy with where he is going. You must be a patient and loving guide. You must hold his hand through the transformation of your marriage and continually assure him that whatever others may think, you will only love him all the more.
The road is rockier for some couples than for others and all will depend on your husband's disposition. Usually your husband will become aware of what you are doing after he has already become addicted to your erotic power. At that point there may be a crisis during which your husband is angry not with you but with himself because he will then understand how much he enjoys your erotic power and desires to submit to your will. For some men raised on a macho image of themselves this can be difficult to accept. At this point that you will need to offer reassurance to him of your love and respect for him. Eventually even the most stubborn husband will come to terms with his newfound desire for submission to you because the lure of your erotic power will be overwhelming.
Ideally, by the time he figures out what you're up to he has already embraced his submission to you. Then it is simply a matter of your openly acknowledging this new reality in your marriage.
You may need to rethink your attitudes about the role of sex. For most married couples, sex is something that goes on in the bedroom. At night. With the lights off. Instead, you will need to think about eroticizing your entire relationship. Sex becomes a thread that weaves throughout every interaction between you and your husband, either directly or indirectly. You will deliberately exploit your sexuality every step of the way to an extreme that would make a prostitute blush.
Your objective is to trigger and exploit the submit response in your husband. To accomplish this you need to introduce a conflict to which he will choose a submissive response. Then you need to reinforce that submissive response through respondent and operant conditioning. As his submissive response is developed you can broaden it beyond the original conflict. Eventually, your husband will naturally and automatically choose the submissive response to any and all conflicts with you. At that point he can be said to have fully submitted to your authority.
Typically the first success eases the way for everything else that follows because by breaking his resistance in one area you demonstrate your ability to break his resistance in any area and because once you begin to reinforce that first submissive response in one conflict you encourage it in all other conflicts.
The key to success, then, is to start off with the right conflict. And there is one conflict in particular that ideally lends itself to the submissive response. Household chores are not a good place to begin because they can be too easily avoided by passive resistance and because they are not inherently reinforcing. Instead the place to begin is with sex itself.
In most marriages it is the husband who initiates, controls, and directs sex. But this is far from ideal.
By imposing your will to initiate, control, and direct sex you create the ideal conflict. To the extent that he resists your will in this matter (and provided that you are truly committed to getting your way) he will be starved for sex. This is an enormously powerful negative reinforcement on his position, essentially he will be punishing himself by his resistence. Conversely, by submitting to your choice in this matter he is, by the very nature of the conflict, rewarded with sex. How this conflict resolution unfolds depends on your particular circumstances. But the mere act of giving up control of when sex occurs is very challenging for most husbands habituated to sex on demand from their wife.
Men are almost always in the mood for sex. That is a fact of life. And men don't fail to have orgasms. With a minimal stimulation, and allowing for a delay between sexual encounters appropriate to his age, a man's orgasm is inevitable; men orgasm as a matter of course. By contrast, a woman's orgasm is subject to the circumstances and the nature and duration of stimulation. So it simply makes no sense for the man to decide when and how sex occurs.
The problem is that while your husband may genuinely seek to satisfy you sexually, his natural, innate tendency is to achieve his primal goal, consummation of intercourse, with a minimal expenditure of energy. After all, that's precisely what evolution has bred him to do, that's how the male of the species maximizes its genetic contribution.
Clearly these goals are in conflict and more often than not, in the passion of making love, it is the primal instincts which win out. He doesn't mean to be this way, but he is. Only you can change this.
But much more is implied here than mere timing. Taking control of sex means directing it toward your own fulfillment. It means doing what you want to do. Some husbands, for example, expect to receive but not to give oral. (Many men regard giving oral to a woman as "unmanly" or "dirty".) Turning this around creates a powerful conflict in an area, sex, where you hold all the cards. Few husbands can long resist a wife who is committed to having sex her way or no way. The longer he resists the more he will be tortured by his sex drive.
Once you are controlling and directing sex you can apply very powerful techniques of respondent and operant conditioning toward every other aspect of your marriage.
2 comments:
Great article, just what I needed.
Once you have withheld sex with him for awhile he will begin to bend, especially if you have been acting erotic when he is around but not allowing him to act. You have to embolden yourself, think like a slut, what would make him submissive? Some night sit across from him in something sexy, it can be a skirt a dress, lingerie, he will think almost anything is sexy at this point! Open your legs, let him see that you are wearing some very sexy panties, a thong, or nothing at all. Touch yourself, think about how exciting this is to be the one in control. He well probably be shocked by this behavior if he has never seen you act this way before. His eyes should be locked on your thighs now and he's probably getting hard. You can say something like, "I'm so hot right now", or just moan and lick your fingers. Open your legs wider and say, "I need your mouth", or take total command and ask if he wants it. Of course he will say yes, then you tell him, "If you want this, crawl over here between my thigh and taste me", or "Come here baby and make me cum with that hot mouth of yours". If he tries anything other than using his mouth, you can push him away and tell him the desire is gone now. If he does as you demand, the next time you can tell him how much you enjoyed his mouth and how good it made you feel and you want him to service you again. After a few times like this he will start to expect this as the new "sex" for you both. To reward him, you can speak erotically to him, or tease him while you "milk" him. soon enough he will be ready for the next step!!
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